Stress.

Ooh look, a post. Don’t get too excited. But I’ll try to make it a good one.

As I mentioned way back at the beginning of this blog, I believe my ME was triggered by PTSD. Before I fell ill, stress was like crack to me. I didn’t need it, I didn’t even want it most of the time, but by god, it felt good, and I could function well under it. Deadlines excited me. Multitasking was my normal state.

I’ve noticed recently, that since I got ill, my stress threshhold is dramatically lower. Little things bug me a lot, like losing the remote or realising in the middle of the night that I forgot to take my antihistimine. Big things don’t just bug me, they send me into conniptions. But then, I’m not sure I even know what big stress is anymore. I think about the events that has sent me into a downward spiral, and they seem like drops in the ocean compared to what others have to deal with. I have a roof over my head, food in the fridge and a little bit of money in the bank. So why the fuck does not being able to understand the instructions on a piece of IKEA furniture make me cry, scream and throw things? Crazy stuff, this.

In other news, it’s summer, so I’m busy and barely have a minute to myself. Birdie is learning to ride a bike, pretty much under his own steam, I have a brand new bed, two weekends away planned, and I’m about to start driving lessons. The last of which terrifies me, because of the first part of my post. I can pretty much guarantee I’m going to cry the first, second, and probably 20th time I stall the car.

However, mood is good, general health is no worse than normal, sleeping patterns are very slowly improving, and I have just about enough energy to get the important stuff done. So if I’m quiet for another few weeks, it’s not because I don’t want to talk to you, it’s probably just because I don’t have a lot to complain about.

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~ by surprisingme on August 11, 2010.

4 Responses to “Stress.”

  1. It’s not just you!! Lots and lots of research studies show that the stress response is dysfunctional in people with CFS. Our endocrine systems are messed up and don’t produce the right hormones at the right times. So, at least you know it’s not you, it’s your messed up endocrine system!

    Summer is very busy for me, too, with my two sons home from school and the house usually full of their friends!

    Good luck with learning to drive – we’ll be starting to teach my son next week when he turns 16!!

    Sue

    • Well, that’s good to know. I don’t tend to read a lot of ME research, I can’t concentrate on it long enough to absorb anything. And even if I could, I’m the least scientifically minded person I know, so I’d probably end up with comprehension fail anyway 🙂

  2. I too have PTSD so I know about the whole stress situation… I have found mindself also very short tempered and my patience levels have lowered (trust me, I was an extremely patient person.
    I know CFS/ME causes your stress hormones to go all over the place and because of abnormal release of corticosteroids in your system, your body is more prone to colds, flu and all that especially after some stress…

    lots of hugs to you x x x x

  3. I’m the same, i also have PTSD and even minor stress can leave me beached, but I can sometimes cope with major crisis without batting an eyelid. It’s the little pebbles that trip you up, not the great big rocks. I’m sure you’ll rise to the challenge of learning to drive and find you actually enjoy it.
    I’d like to read more from you even if it is a whingefest. You are very amusing 🙂

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